


let me list the reasons i love you (and should never listen to courfeyrac again)

by apollo_the_sun_god



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But he's trying, Enjolras Is Bad At Feelings, F/M, First Kiss, Gen, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Nonbinary Jehan, Pining!Enjolras, PowerPoint, This is my brand now, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, apparently, courfeyrac thinks it's hilarious, enjolras centered, enjolras thinks telling grantaire he loves him like this is a good idea, enjoltaire - Freeform, everybody lives and nothing hurts, it all works out in the end, niche powerpoint night, oblivious!enjolras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollo_the_sun_god/pseuds/apollo_the_sun_god
Summary: Courfeyrac arranges a niche PowerPoint night for the Les Amis. Enjolras thinks this is a perfect time to tell Grantaire how he feels. Grantaire disagrees.
Relationships: Combeferre/Courfeyrac (Les Misérables), Cosette Fauchelevent/Marius Pontmercy, Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables), Joly/Bossuet Laigle/Musichetta
Comments: 7
Kudos: 81





	let me list the reasons i love you (and should never listen to courfeyrac again)

**Author's Note:**

> yes, i know marlowe wasn't a Romantic poet. R knows it too.

Enjolras and Combeferre’s apartment, while welcoming and lit with warm lighting, was clearly not accustomed to housing the entirety of the Les Amis at once. That was Courfeyrac’s job. Yet, here they all were, spread out across the limited seating and the floor with very little space between any of them. Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta were splayed out across the couch, Jehan leaning against Joly’s legs on the ground, absentmindedly braiding a flower crown. Their outfit today was a particular shade of garish, Enjolras had to admit, though he wasn’t sure who else would be able to pull over a lime green pair of overalls and a pastel blue trench coat. 

Bahorel and Feuilly were seated on opposite ends of the small table that normally was covered in mounds of books and papers and various medical supplies that Combeferre kept around the apartment in the middle of an arm-wrestling contest while Cosette cheered them on loudly and Marius looked terrified at the thought of one of them challenging him to a match. Grantaire and Eponine were in the process of trying to push each other off of one of the plush reading chairs that sat near the window, both of them miraculously managing to do so without spilling a single drop of their drink. Grantaire’s inky black hair was streaked with paint that had found its way down onto the green pullover sweater he was wearing. Enjolras met his eyes briefly and quickly looked away, swallowing a lump in his throat as he went off to the kitchen, needing to take a moment to compose himself again. 

Enjolras’ hands were trembling as he poured himself a glass of water and his heart was pounding in his chest. He didn’t know why he was nervous, Courfeyrac had said that this would work, that Grantaire definitely returned his feelings. But the other man hadn’t raised a single objection or counterargument at the last meeting they had, and Enjolras wasn’t sure what he had done wrong. He had been trying to be nicer to him, to not lash out as he had previously. Grantaire just confused him, he didn’t understand how someone that talented, that brilliant and well-read, could bear to not want to change the world, could believe that it was doomed to failure. That he was doomed to fail. 

“Enj,” Courfeyrac called from the other room, “come on. You’re going to miss the show! We put this whole thing together just for you!” and with a sigh, Enjolras knocked back another glass of water, his eyes going to the half drank bottle of wine that was left on his counter and at the last second took a large gulp of that as well, hoping it would give him the courage to do what needed to be done. 

“I’m here,” he said finally, walking out into his own sitting room, glancing around for somewhere to sit. Thankfully, it looked at those Combeferre had claimed the other sitting chair and the armrest was thankfully vacant, and thankfully, it put Grantaire out of his line of sight. Enjolras didn’t know what he would do if he had to spend the entire night staring at him, especially when he didn’t have his speech or causes to hide behind. 

Glancing at him, Combeferre gently rubbed circles into his leg, an absentminded motion that let Enjolras know that he was here for him, no matter how many times Combeferre had pulled his glasses off of his face and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance before threatening to lock him and Grantaire in a closet. 

Courfeyrac was standing in front of the television, blocking the words on the screen from view. There was a wide, almost devilish smile across his face, the same one that normally wound up with at least one of them doing something incredibly embarrassing before the night was over. 

“And now, ladies, gents, and the most fabulous of non-binaries, I present the Les Amis first ever PowerPoint Night,” he said with a flourish, stepping aside and revealing the title of his: _Rating Each of My Truly Lovely Friends on How Good of a Kisser they are._

Enjolras felt his cheeks grow hot, it wasn’t uncommon for Courfeyrac to kiss his friends, they all had been on the other end of his drunken preference for spin the bottle, but this meant that he was going to have to think about kissing him again. And more importantly, he was going to have to think about Grantaire kissing Courfeyrac. He was going to have to think about Grantaire kissing and Enjolras wished he had brought the bottle of wine out with him. He had a feeling he was going to need a lot more of it really soon. 

Courfeyrac was still talking, clearly thriving off of the attention he had at the moment as Bahorel and Jehan both clamored loudly that they wanted a redo, that there was no way that Marius was higher on the list than they were. 

“Come on,” Bahorel said, abandoning his arm-wrestling contest for the moment, “I know for a fact I can kiss better than him.” 

Courfeyrac bounded over to him with a laugh, planting a light kiss on the other man’s lips before hopping away, “Hmm,” he said, pretending to think on it for a second, “not bad, not bad. But it doesn’t matter anyway because all of these scores are invalid. None of you are as good at it as ‘Ferre.” 

Combeferre blushed slightly but chuckled at his boyfriend’s humor as the rest of the room either cheered for more details or made gagging sounds behind their hands. Yet, Enjolras didn’t miss the fact that Courfeyrac had put Grantaire at number two and he couldn’t put that thought out of his mind. 

Thankfully, Courfeyrac’s presentation was over soon enough and Jehan was slowly taking the makeshift stage, which was really just a box placed to the side of Enjolras’ TV that they were standing on. They looked around at all of their friends, spread their arms widely as though they welcoming everyone into a secret, and flipped to the first slide of their presentation. 

“How I think everyone will die if they were a Romantic poet?” Grantaire read off the screen, a small smile coming to his face, “why, Jehan, if you didn’t give me Marlowe’s death, I'm disappointed.” 

Jehan glanced over at him, raising their eyebrows, “As if I would give that to anyone else.” 

Enjolras wasn’t sure how he managed to get through the next few presentations, he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of Grantaire, watching as he threw his head back whenever he laughed or the frankly obscene way that he lifted the bottle of beer to his lips. But, Bossuet had done something about pictures of kittens that had made him cry, followed up by Joly’s repeated plea for everyone to carry hand sanitizer around with them, and Bahorel ranking the places that he had been arrested. 

Though considering that that last one contained photographic evidence of the time that most of them had gotten arrested for public nudity, having gone up to Jehan’s parent’s cabin by the lake, Enjolras wasn’t surprised when he had to excuse himself to go get another drink. 

“You okay, Apollo?” Grantaire asked, stepping into the kitchen behind him as they both heard Combeferre begin his presentation on the mating rituals of various types of moths. A topic that they knew could keep him talking for hours. 

Enjolras nodded, a sharp jerk of his head, decidedly not meeting the cynic’s eyes. “Y-yeah,” he said finally, pulling the bottle away from his mouth and letting it clang, empty onto the counter. His head was spinning slightly, but only enough to make Grantaire look even more like an angel that he already did. 

“I don’t know why you insist on calling me that,” he continued, mumbling slightly as he pushed himself against a counter. 

Grantaire just smirked, “You’re the sun, it’s only fitting.” 

“I’m not the sun,” Enjolras muttered but he doubted the other man could hear him. The devotion that Grantaire had towards him used to terrify him to no ends, he didn’t want Grantaire to have misplaced the single bit of optimism that he had left, but now Enjolras just hoped that it would allow Grantaire to love him as Enjolras dreamed about. 

“Keep telling yourself that, mon ange,” Grantaire said with a small laugh, “now come on, it’s almost my turn.” Grantaire grabbed a hold of Enjolras’ hand, Enjolras’ cheeks immediately heating up as he snatched his hand away. He couldn’t handle touching him, not at this moment. But he didn’t miss the spark of disappointment that flew into Grantaire’s eyes as he moved into the center of the room, giving Enjolras space. 

_Damnit,_ Enjolras thought, ignoring the unsympathetic look that Combeferre was giving him. He knew he had messed up; he didn’t need to be reminded of it. 

“R,” Joly said, “you missed it. Marius told us all about how terrified he was to meet Cosette’s dad the first time.” 

“Valjean?” Grantaire asked, “the man’s a sweetheart. He let me crash on his couch too many times to count in high school.” 

“That’s because you were entirely too drunk to make it home and even my father could see that,” Cosette said simply, stepping over to kiss Grantaire lightly on his cheek before taking her seat back in Marius’ lap, “besides I talked all about the places he’s cried.” 

“You’re positively evil,” Grantaire said while raising his drink in a mock salute, but at that point, he turned back to the room at large. 

“And now, mes amis,” he said, turning to show his presentation up on the screen, where big letters clearly read: Everything Enjolras said Wrong at the last meeting. 

_So that’s why he didn’t argue with me,_ Enjolras thought belatedly as the other man began to thoroughly pick apart every single thing he had said. Enjolras could feel his stomach clench and the anger start rising up inside of him. He needed Grantaire to believe that it was possible to change things, he knew that he could convince him of it, but as soon as he opened his mouth to speak, there was a hand clasped over the top of it and Courfeyrac whispering in his ear. 

“Don’t, let him have this. Besides, you can always use this as foreplay later on.” 

And Enjolras blushed furiously, so much so that he wouldn’t be surprised if his golden hair was turning red as well. Miraculously, Enjolras managed to not say anything for nearly ten minutes, the entire room glancing between the two of them as though they were just waiting for the dam to break. 

“You’re not giving the people enough credit,” Enjolras argued, putting himself into the conversation, unable to hold back anymore. His entire body felt warm, but he wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol that was running through his veins or the feeling of Grantaire’s attention being on him. 

“Now see, Apollo, you’re giving the people too much credit. You’re thinking too large. Sure, you’re able to convince some people to believe you and rally behind you; fuck, anyone that hears you speak can’t help but be enthralled by you, but even a god can’t reach the entire world,” Grantaire shot back. 

“Someone has to try though,” Enjolras said, and he could hear his voice getting louder with each word, “without that where would the world be? We would have nothing. Everything started, everything we’ve earned has come because someone has decided to fight for it.” 

“The world’s still shit though, isn’t it?” Grantaire said, “I mean, fuck, you’re the one that brought up the fucking repeals of marriage equality.” 

And even though they were pushed out of the living room and into the hallway of Enjolras’ apartment and eventually into Enjolras’ bedroom itself, there was less venom in their voices. They were both smiling, trading jabs back and forth with a gleam in their eyes. With each statement that they made, there seemed to be less space in between them until there was only a hair’s distance and Enjolras could practically count the number of eyelashes on Grantaire’s eyes and he had to shake himself back to reality. 

“Look, R,” Enjolras said finally, dropping his voice slightly, enough that Grantaire noticed. Enjolras sat on the edge of his bed, pushing some of the books off of it and letting them fall onto the floor and on top of one of the many piles of papers that were scattered throughout the room, “I had a whole plan to tell you this, trust me.” 

Enjolras gripped the edges of his hair with his hands, staring down at the floor between his legs as though he thought that if he just didn’t look at Grantaire, that magically he wouldn’t have to say what was rolling around in his head. 

“Enjolras,” Grantaire said, kneeling down in front of him, “what’s wrong? You look like you’re going to be sick.” 

Enjolras shook his head, pushing away from the other man and standing up, “Come on,” he decided, “it’s probably time for my presentation.” Confused, and slightly hurt, Grantaire followed and entered the main room just as Feuilly finished up a story about the time he had to explain that you couldn’t return half-eaten ice cream in a grocery store, concluding his presentation on the dumbest people he had dealt with in retail. 

“R,” Eponine called, “you missed it!” She grinned up at him as he took his seat back on the arm of her chair, clearly much drunker than she had been when he had left, “I ranked all the places you and I got kicked out of for being drunk.” 

“Did you count the time we were escorted out of a hospital because someone thought it was a good idea to sneak a bottle of vodka in?” 

“Wasn’t that you, R?” Bossuet asked from across the room and Grantaire just raised his own bottle of whiskey in response. Enjolras was up in the front of the room, nervously fiddling around with the laptop in an attempt to get his presentation pulled up. 

Then the golden-haired lover of liberty turned and faced the room at large, deliberately avoiding meeting Grantaire’s eyes but he could see the rest of the room’s faces morph into a mixture of shock, smugness, and pure joy. 

Grantaire had never seen him look so nervous. He had seen Enjolras face an entire police force nearly single-handed, had seen him speak to hundreds of people with a fire in his eyes that he had never been able to replicate in his paintings. It was something so honestly and uniquely Enjolras that nothing could compare to it. 

Yet, Enjolras quickly stepped to the side and the title of his presentation was revealed, black words on a simple white background though the words might as well have been flashing neon lights, no one was able to pull their eyes away from them. 

_The Top Reasons why I am in Love with Grantaire._

There was no one else in the room for Enjolras other than Grantaire and the artist’s face was ashen, all of the color having drained out of it as his eyes flickered over the presentation and then to Enjolras’ face and then back again as though he was trying to work out a complicated puzzle in his head. 

Then, as Enjolras flipped to the first slide, _1\. He’s so brilliant and doesn’t even realize it._ Grantaire was up out of his seat and staring at him, gripping the bottle of whiskey in a white-knuckled grip, 

“God, Apollo, you couldn’t even leave one thing, alone could you?” he sounded as though he was close to tears, but it was the sheer force of his will that was stopping him from breaking down in front of all of them. 

“R, wh-what are you talking about?” Enjolras said, casting a helpless glance over to Courfeyrac. He had told him that this would work, assured him that Grantaire was just as in love with him as he was. 

“Look, I know I'm pathetic, that this is pathetic but at least let me pretend I have some dignity left, okay? I don’t need you to rub it in my face.” And with that, Grantaire was out of the apartment, the door slamming shut behind him and leaving the room in silence. 

Bahorel sighed, “I knew he was going to do that,” just as Courfeyrac and Jehan gripped Enjolras arms and pushed him in the direction of the door, shouting at him to go after Grantaire. 

Enjolras sprinted out of the apartment, rushing down the hallway and the stairs until he pushed out the door, out of breath and breathily heavily. Grantaire was leaning up against the side of the building, staring at the sky as though he was still trying to hold back in the tears. 

“R,” Enjolras said, slowly to a stop and pitching his voice low, not wanting to startle the other man, “can you just talk to me? I’m sorry for dropping that on you like that, it wasn’t fair to tell you that in front of all of our friends and I'm sorry for putting you on the spot. If you don’t feel the same about me, that's totally fine, you’re fully capable of making your own decisions and I won’t let it ruin our friendship, I promise, or if you want me to leave and not talk to you again, I- I can do that too.” 

Grantaire laughed bitterly, “I’m fully capable of making my own decisions? That’s high praise coming from you, Apollo, since you seem so intent on rubbing my feelings for you in my face. I was perfectly content with loving you from afar, it was more than I ever expected, and I know you don’t like me, hell, I don’t blame you, but I never thought you were cruel.” 

Enjolras gaped, his mouth hanging opened as he tried to wrap his brain around what Grantaire was saying, “You’re in love with me?” he gasped out. 

Grantaire rolled his eyes, pulling his arms tighter across his chest, “Don’t pretend like you didn’t know. Everyone does, it’s pathetic but I don’t need anyone to rub it in my face, I'm well aware of it.” 

“You’re in love with me?” Enjolras stood up straighter. 

Grantaire finally looked at him, his eyes bright with emotion, “Fuck, Apollo is that all you can say? Yes, is that what you want to hear? Yes, I'm in love you. I have been ever since I stepped foot into your meeting four years ago.” he was practically shouting by the end of it, his hands coming up in exasperation, just enough for Enjolras to wrap his hands around Grantaire’s wrists, holding him in place. 

“What are you doing?” Grantaire said, breathing heavily, his eyes darting between where their skin touched and Enjolras’ face. 

“Making you listen to me,” Enjolras said softly, “and telling you that there has never been anything I’ve believed more than what I say next. I love you, R, I've loved you for years but I didn’t know what to do. You drove me insane and I couldn’t stand being around you because I didn’t know what to do with myself.” 

Grantaire was quiet for a long moment, staring into Enjolras’ eyes, searching for something. Enjolras wanted to say it again, wanted to scream it to the world until Grantaire believed him, but just as he opened his mouth to repeat the phrase, to press it against Grantaire’s skin until it sank into his bones, Grantaire shook his head slightly. 

“Just, just give me a second, okay?” he whispered, but Enjolras could see a hint of a smile on his lips. And within a few seconds, Grantaire was laughing, a brilliant, beautiful sound that Enjolras could listen to forever. 

“I’m dreaming, aren’t I? Fuck, I don’t even care. I'll wake up tomorrow and things will be back too normal,” he said, but Enjolras just shook his head, moving closer until there was barely any space between the two of them. 

“Please say I can kiss you?” Enjolras breathed, launching forward as soon as Grantaire nodded, his eyes wide. 

When they finally pulled away, Enjolras entwining their hands together and resolving to never let go again, “I love you,” Enjolras said again, “and I don’t care how many times I have to say it until you believe me, I love you.” 

“You’re a ridiculous man,” Grantaire chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. 

“But you love me anyway,” Enjolras smiled back, his body feeling ten times lighter now that he was able to say those words. 

“That I do,” Grantaire agreed, “but come on, I believe there’s a presentation up there about all the reasons you love me?” 

Enjolras laughed, using their entwined hands to pull Grantaire back into the building and into his apartment, “I believe it says the top reasons, there’s plenty more I didn’t list. I’ll tell you those tonight because I think I'll have some more to add to it anyway.” 

Grantaire laughed, and Enjolras hoped that he would be able to hear that sound every day for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's what everyone's presentations were about: 
> 
> 1\. Courfeyrac: Rating Each of My Truly Lovely Friends on How Good of a Kisser they are.   
> 2\. Jehan: How I think everyone will die if they were a Romantic poet  
> 3\. Bossuet: Pictures of Kittens Ranked on How Happy they make Me  
> 4\. Joly: Why everyone should carry hand sanitizer   
> 5\. Bahorel: Ranking the places I've been arrested   
> 6\. Combeferre: The Mating Rituals of Moths   
> 7\. Marius: How terrified I was to meet Cosette's dad  
> 8\. Cosette: Places Marius has Cried  
> 9\. Grantaire: Everything Enjolras said wrong at the last meeting   
> 10\. Musichetta: 10 Reasons why my boyfriends are idiots   
> 11\. Eponine: Ranking the places me and R have gotten kicked out of because we were drunk   
> 12\. Feuilly: Ranking the dumbest things I've had to explain to people while working retail  
> 13\. Enjolras: The Top Reasons why I love Grantaire


End file.
